Author: Catharine

  • Declamation Speech – January 25th, 2024.

    Is the sword mightier than the pen? I think actions speak louder than words. The only reason I wrote the speech with a pen is because I don’t want to be scared of following through and acting with a sword.  Right now, me standing up here is me holding a sword, because swords symbolize action…

  • Dilemma the Doofa, Pt. 1

    Once in a blue moon, there’s a little person born at Gate D18 in the Atlanta airport. These people smell like the orange scented cleaner that Mexican ladies use on your hotel room, they have broomstick straight hair shaped like a Nebraskan haystack, and their limbs are as thin as the napkins you get at…

  • How to recognize Earth when it appears to be someplace else

    This morning I boarded a plane from Little Rock to Atlanta—that smoggy wonder of a molehill—and sat down in my seat at the back of the plane. It was pitch black on the ground, with nothing able to be seen except the dark men’s dark faces lit up by the flickering red lights of the…

  • Trying to Understand Humanity

    How does a human work? How does it function? That is the most concerning question that any animal has posed. How do the beady-eyed birds see the hairy-faced humans? How doth the walrus perceive the arthropod? This essay will seek to answer this profoundly perplexing question by means of the most academic, discombobulating language possible…